Skip to main content

"The Fast Saga: F9"


I know a lot of you said this franchise ran out of ideas a long time ago. I'm now starting to agree with you.
Since when did Dom have a big, burly, white brother? And why was he never mentioned? This is a copy and paste story of the Shaw brothers. Dom is little Owen and John Cena is Deckard.
I see Mia returned to the scene
 Where's Brian? Is stuck at home with Jack. Are they divorced. Is she just craving adventure? Does SHE miss the bullets?
Speaking of bullets, Cipher and her ugly-as-sin hair are back. You know, if she was such a good hacker that Anonymous wouldn't dare mess with her, she would have known that Dom had a brother and went after him first.
I'm still waiting to see if Mr. Nobody is gonna be back. I have a theory that he's been running the operation this whole time. From Owen to Deckard to Cipher, and now John Cena. When they do F10, that's when it'll unfold.
And speaking of unfolding, what the f*ck is Han doing still alive? That means 14 years and 4 movies were wasted on this stupid soap opera trick.
Or is he another version from another dimension, one that's out to destroy Dom and his crew for getting Han killed in their world? I'm up for anything at this point. Nothing can get anymore dumb than this...except for the rocket Toyota. A weak attempt at Tyrese flying a spaceship.

In Theaters: May 22, 2020
Click image to view URL.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Taking a Break!

Since theaters are closed and movie premieres are being pushed back because of the Coronavirus, I will be taking a break reviewing upcoming movies. When the pandemic subsides, I will return to looking at new movies. In the meantime, stay safe, avoid contact as much as you can, and stay home if you're unwell. We will get through this together. Click image to view URL.

"Klaus"

Netflix must have read my post on The Christmas Chronicles because here comes another Santa Claus movie, and I'm rather excited for it. I kept having vibes of the early days of 2000s animation with films like The Prince of Egypt , The Road to El Dorado , and Fox Animation's Anastasia , so it kind of hit me there with nostalgia. It also felt like the remake of the Ranken & Bass story we deserve. If this doesn't get nominated for Best Animated Feature, I'll be very disappointed. In theaters: November 8, 2019 Released On Netflix: November 15, 2019

"Us"

I'm confused. The people attacking Jordan Peele's family is them. But why is the boy doppelgänger wearing a sack over his face? I think it's the white family they met on the beach. Instead of becoming black, like in Get Out , they are killing black and making it a black on black crime. Yeah, I'm calling blackface in 2019. Okay, so I guess the white family isn't involved because they are victims too. And I now know why the boy's doppelgänger is wearing a mask; they wears a mask. But why are they after themselves? It doesn't make sense. I'll probably wait and see what critics think of it first. In theaters: March 15, 2019 Click image to view URL.